Here's Your Kool-Aid, Sir.

I promise I won't write anything else about TO for the rest of the day, but SI's Michael Silver got spun so hard in this story that one wonders if he'll ever be able to walk in a straight line again. 

Under the headline "Laying down the law; T.O. practices, proving Parcells is still in total control," Silver starts out by writing:

If you're wondering why Terrell Owens chose Wednesday to make his sudden return to the practice field after having skipped the 14 previous sessions, the answer is rather simple: The Dallas Cowboys' mercurial receiver apparently decided he'd rather deal with a twinge in his left hamstring than with his sore head coach.

Fair enough.  Then he continues:

SI.com has learned that the previous afternoon, during the team's training-camp practice in Oxnard, Calif., Cowboys coach Bill Parcells approached trainer Jim Maurer and pointedly said, "Look, you tell Terrell that tomorrow I want him out here for practice. Tomorrow's the day. I don't care. Tomorrow's the day."

Unless you think Maurer the trainer has Silver on speed-dial, "SI.com has learned" is super-secret code for "someone in the Dallas front office is doing damage control, hoping that by giving me this little exclusive, I'll write exactly the story they're looking for."  Let's see how Mr. Anonymous did:

Apparently, Owens got the message, rejoining his teammates on the field Wednesday afternoon for the first time since Aug. 2. And, equally important, Parcells sent a message to his players that he remains firmly in charge of his team.

...despite all appearances to the contrary over the past two weeks...

"Before T.O. got back out there, a lot of people were starting to second-guess Bill," one Cowboys player says. "For the first time ever, he'd shown a little weakness, like he might not be totally in control, and like he didn't know how to handle this situation. Because, let's face it, it's been a total spectacle so far."

In this paragraph, Mr. Anonymous Front Office Person is here joined by Mr. Anonymous Player.  Any guesses as to whom it might be?  All we know for sure -- it's someone who doesn't want to be chapter four in Owens' next book.  The AP has more to say:

Don't think that the "Tour de Terrell" stunt Owens pulled last week -- wearing the Discovery Channel pro cycling team's silver and blue jersey and a racing helmet while riding his stationary bike on the sideline during practice -- didn't irk Parcells, who reacted disgustedly. "As soon as he saw T.O. in the jersey, and saw all the TV cameras heading over, Parcells got up and walked to the other end of the field," says the same Cowboys player. "It's like he was saying, 'There's no way you're gonna get a shot of me in the same frame as that crap.'"

Tired of letting his sources carry all the load for this story on the record, Silver decides to give a little help:

Despite having consistently complained of hamstring pain, the wideout was rumored to have run a 4.48 40-yard dash on Tuesday. An MRI exam on Aug. 5, three days after he said he first injured the hamstring, reportedly came up clear.

"Rumored."  As in Mr. AFOP just told me.  Back to the very quotable player:

But until Parcells' ultimatum to Maurer, they weren't sure if the Tuna had the juice or gumption to take on Jones' prized free-agent signee.

"We all just sat and wondered, 'Who's gonna win this battle?'" says the Cowboys player. "As a player, you can't help but get distracted when something like that is going on. The guy comes out last every single practice, has somebody carrying his helmet and is always putting on his uniform at the last minute, and then he's out there riding the bike and drawing attention to himself. Even if he's not trying to be a deterrent -- and he clearly is -- it's obvious that the coach isn't happy.

"The bottom line is, he appeared to be healthy and wasn't practicing. So we'd sit and wonder, Who's gonna win? How's it gonna go down?'"

Give this round to the Tuna -- and stay tuned.

Michael Silver, folks, he's there when you need him. 

Comments

[tybird]

Dan Shanoff at ESPN makes a good point in the Quickie this morning. Was TO really going to miss out on the primetime MNF game against the Saints and let Reggie Bush be the big story? TO claims that he's not sure if he'll play on Monday, but I'd lay a paycheck down that he'll make another "heroic" recovery.