Eagles Preseason Drinking Game

The Eagles 2008 season somewhat officially begins tonight in Pittsburgh.  To celebrate this momentous occasion -- and to obscure the fact that most preseason football games are mind-numbingly boring after the first 20 minutes -- I propose the following drinking game. 

Please feel free to play along at home.  Some of us have kids, families and blogs to take care of, but for the rest of you lowlifes I would point out that a) it's Friday night and b) there's only one game on, so there's no need to pace yourselves.

Let us begin.

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Take one drink if/when...

... Pittsburgh sends at least five guys at the quarterback.
... Tony Hunt completes a run of more than 1.6 yards.
... "The confluence" appears on screen.
... Max Jean-Gilles looks really, really slow getting outside on a screen pass.
... An Eagles receiver drops a pass (unless it's the #12 guy on the depth chart, in which case no need to pile on).
... A non-Division I-A school is mentioned.
... [TV Edition] Charlie Casserly starts a sentence with "When I was in Houston..."
... [Radio Edition] Merrill Reese talks about how he thinks "Brent Celek really has a future in this league."
... [Couch Edition] Someone in the room points out how small David Akers is now.

Take two drinks if/when...

... Pittsburgh sends at least six guys at the quarterback.
... Lito Sheppard allows a completion of more than 8.9 yards.
... SWMBO asks: "Do you really have to watch the whole thing?"
... The word "vanilla" is used.
... After a blown coverage, two guys in the secondary gesture wildly to make sure everyone knows it was not their fault.
... Donovan makes a really dumb joke during his sideline interview and then transitions with: "Nah, I feel great, my shoulder feels great..."
... You think "Jamie Moyer" the first time Kevin Kolb throws a pass after coming in for Donovan (you know it's gonna happen now).
... [TV and Radio Editions] Anyone uses the words "DeSean Jackson" and "confidence" in the same sentence.

Take three drinks if/when...

... Pittsburgh sends at least seven guys at the quarterback.
... the Eagles manage a kickoff return of more than 35 yards.
... we see a shot of Tra Thomas (or his agent) smiling after Winston Justice blows a pass protection.
... the Eagles call two straight running plays.
... [TV Edition] Dave Spadaro says he thinks the Eagles could keep six wide receivers, eight linebackers or five running backs.
... [Radio Edition] Mike Quick says: "I'm really impressed with the way" and then names a guy who won't be on the team in a month.

Finish your drink if/when...

... Pittsburgh says "F it" and sends all 11 guys at the quarterback.
... Jerome McDougle or Ryan Moats suffers his annual "it doesn't look good but we'll have to see what the MRI says" injury.
... We see my parents in the stands (I'll let you know).

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Please feel free to add your own in the comments...