If there was a way to grill and eat a Ram this afternoon, I would

 

FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY. 

Football.  

I'm headed to Hoboken for the game and look forward to making some noise with the crew.  What I'll be shouting at the TV about:

Not to start with a negative, but spare us the obligatory drive-killing false start penalty on third down in the first quarter.  Seriously.  Those are totally beat.

And to get the other negative out of the way, the timeouts in the first quarter just kill me.  Seriously.  Also beat.  Please skip. 

I'm totally fired up to see the rookies on returns.  Can't remember the last time I was even vaguely excited for our return game.  Maybe J.R. Reed (Westbrook cameos don't count).  I'm actually more curious about Demps than I am Jackson.  I feel like I've seen enough of Jackson running around to understand what he's bringing.  Demps is still something of a mystery. 

Speaking of DeSean Jackson.  Geez, the hype machine for the camelcased one is really cranking at full power, no?  I was expecting to scoop the kid up in all of my imaginary football leagues; nope, he got taken relatively early in all of them.  Was there some sort of fantasy-nerd special bulletin distributed on the topic?  I mean, I think he'll get his shots, but WOW, this is still a rookie, right?    

The Rams have to be eight in the box/ all-eyes-on-36, right?  I wonder who else will get it done for the Birds?  Because the Rams have to be game-planning almost exclusively for Westbrook.  Someone else might have to score some imaginary football points this week!      

Fear the wet field!  I hope there aren't any otherwise preventable injuries due to the condition of the field.  Also, if the Eagles are supposed to be "fast" on defense, then a wet field will neutralize them more?  Or something?  Whatever, the Rams are a dome team.  They'll hate it out there.

Three things that will make me irrationally happy: (1) deep ball from McNabb to anyone (though something to Jackson would bring the house down) -- I just hope they take a shot down the field; (2) sack from one of the young linebackers, Gocong would be best; (3) Lito Sheppard gets a pick -- it just means that incentives are properly aligned. 

Moment of lightning-dodging confidence: I think the Eagles scheduled a Championship Subdivision cupcake opponent for the home opener.  They come correct to the tune of 27-10.

My freakin jersey didn't get here in time.  BOOOOOO.