You Can't Spell Pfffft Without P, F and T

^{- Posted by Derek -}

This popped up on BountyBowl's Reading earlier Tuesday -- I just didn't have time to tackle it when it did.  But this sort of ridiculous "analysis" cannot go unremarked upon.

Florio piles mistakes upon mistakes in that piece, but his most egregious failing is also his most basic:  he can't understand Andy Reid.  And I mean that quite literally.

Mike Florio doesn't understand good people.  He doesn't understand Kurt Warner.  He certainly doesn't understand Tony Dungy.  And he doesn't understand Reid.

In Florio's world, everyone -- everyone -- is simply looking out for his own best, earthly interests.  There's actually a fair amount that shows up on PFT that annoys me, but nothing compares to the snideness and condescension with which he addresses people of good intentions. 

So as Florio struggles to understand what the Eagles see in Vick, it's worth noting that he does not, and seemingly will not ever, see the whole picture.  And that's one of the reasons he ends up with ideas like this:

We think the Eagles wanted Vick so that they could spend the 2009 season assessing whether it makes sense come 2010 to make him the starting quarterback, and to dump Donovan McNabb.  That outcome -- Vick as a multi-year starting quarterback -- is the only scenario that ultimately validates the stresses and strains that the team will experience in 2009.

I'm sorry, but the implicit assumption here is just daffy.  And I'd say well-nigh disqualifying for an NFL analyst. 

Mike Vick isn't even close to being the type of quarterback Donovan McNabb is.  Especially in this offense and especially from a "future" perspective, where the team finally has the type of game-breaking receiving talent that demands a pass-first QB.

A lot of the discussion that has swirled along these lines has made it pretty clear there are actually two kinds of quarterback controversies out there.

The first, a "quarterback controversy," happens whenever fans and pundit decree one into existence.  "The Eagles signed Mike Vick?  They must be tired of McNabb!"  "McNabb threw a couple passes into the ground?  Let's boo him and call for Vick!  That'd be AWESOME!!!"

Fortunately for the Eagles, Andy Reid doesn't really care much what people outside the locker room think, so we don't have to worry about that having an impact on how the season goes.

The second kind of controversy is the Actual Quarterback Controversy.  It should be noted that this only takes place when:

• Two quarterbacks of similar skill levels play for the same team.
• Neither quarterback distinguishes himself to the extent that he grabs the job.
• Generally speaking, the coach himself is worried about his own skin and starting to get desperate.

If you're grading at home, that would be: "False, Nope, and Uh-uh."  So we can safely dismiss all the ink Florio spills on the issue filling up space between posts about agent tweets and items rewriting stories that already appeared somewhere else.

A few more specific issues:

If the goal is to get the most out of Vick this year, then the focus should be getting him onto the field as a slot receiver ...

Not that there's anything wrong with Vick playing some receiver, but why should that be the focus?  When Vick was in Atlanta, he was basically the league's most dangerous running back playing quarterback.  Why would his best role involve neither of those two things?

And not to overuse the "especially's" ... but, well, especially because the Eagles actually have good wide receivers, including a couple of "catch-and-run" guys who actually play the position.

And that approach would mean not spending so much time remaking him into an every-down NFL quarterback, devoting some reps to teaching him how to run patterns and catch footballs.

I don't know if Mike Vick is a starting quarterback for a Super Bowl team.  It seems pretty late in life for him to suddenly become a film junkie.  But what I do know is that Vick is about to become a #3 quarterback for a team with Super Bowl aspirations, a starting QB with a checkered injury past, and a back-up who has been less than impressive in his limited game experience to date. 

Vick should probably learn the offense.

But why would they invite the distraction and disruption associated with signing Vick for the primary purpose of upgrading the No. 2 quarterback?

Because he's really fast.  Like, really, really fast.  And there's this thing, it's called the Wildcat ...

And if the goal is to buy low and sell high, flipping Vick via trade in March, is the package of picks they'd get in 2010 justified by the short-term head-scratching and hand-wringing that Vick's presence has created?

According to Jimmy Johnson's trade value chart, "head-scratching and hand-wringing" is, um, nowhere to be found.  So yes, I think it's fair to say that would be a good trade.

It doesn't mean that Vick will supplant McNabb come 2010.  But if the powers-that-be decide that Vick can play at a high level and if the powers-that-be decide that the window has closed on Donovan (who'll be 33 before the current season ends), the transition to new quarterback won't be nearly as dramatic if Vick already has been groomed to step in.

Look, I'm not saying there's no chance Vick isn't the starter in 2010.  Crazy things happen in sports. 

But if this particular crazy thing happens, it won't be because there's some magic plan behind the whole thing.  Nor will it be because the team just decides to move on from McNabb.  It will be because Donovan blew another tire, Kevin Kolb showed nothing as his replacement, and Vick somehow game-managed this team deep into the playoffs when they went to him in desperation after an ugly Week 13 loss against, ironically enough, the Atlanta Falcons. 

But Andy Reid surely didn't burn the 36th overall pick in the 2007 draft on Kevin Kolb because Reid thought that McNabb deserved a backup who was only four picks removed from being a first-round selection. 

Which you can tell, because since Kolb's arrival before the 2007 season the Eagles have done nothing but run McNabb out there every game he was healthy, give him a bigger contract for the next two seasons, and tell everyone who will listen -- and, of course, we're writing this because some people won't -- that McNabb is The Man.

Or wait, no, that's backwards.

Along the way, they need to be sure that McNabb doesn't figure out that this is the real reason why they brought Vick to town.

Pounds head on desk .....