Monday Eagles Hangover: Things That Didn't Happen Yesterday

Guess what didn't happen yesterday?  The Eagles didn't lose a playoff game.  

Yesterday was a vicious loss.  At first I thought it was the worst loss since this year's Oakland game, but a buddy quickly convinced me that it was actually the worst loss since last year's Baltimore game, and I agreed.  It had the same degree of humiliation as the Baltimore loss as well as the same levels of post-game despair (McNabb can't play!  He's on his way out!).  And while no one got benched yesterday (and really, perhaps they should have, if only for their safety), the fact that the loss came at the hands of the Cowboys vaults it into that same category of awfulness. 

And still, the Eagles didn't lose a playoff game yesterday. 

I'll try to limit the counter-programming/ don't-sweat-it-everything-is-fine line of inquiry here.  Again, this was the worst loss we've seen in a while.  All that said, the Birds get to play the Cowboys again next week; the season isn't over.  And while plenty of other folks will focus on what did happen on the field in Dallas yesterday, I'm going to drill into all the stuff that didn't happen.

The Eagles' young receivers didn't continue their run of clutch catches and long touchdowns.  A week ago, we were panting about Jeremy Maclin's game-winning catch along the sideline and DeSean Jackson being The First Player Named To The Pro Bowl At Two Positions.  Their play was arguably the story of the past month, if not the entire season ("Eagles finally have Weapons!").  Today, we have to deal with the fact that our hotshot young wideouts got punked by the Cowboys' secondary.  They did.  Sure, there were some balls that could have been slightly better thrown, but great receivers make tough catches.  Also, the body language from young Masters Jackson and Maclin was lousy.  The shine is off these guys a bit right now -- they looked a lot more like young, inexperienced players than precocious superstars-in-training.  I'm curious to see how they respond on Saturday.         

A fortnight of triumphalism and Miami travel bookings did not commence.  If the Birds had won yesterday, the lubricant would have been flowing for Eagles fans everywhere (including here), as we all indulged in two weeks of circle-jerking regarding the Birds' Super Bowl chances.  We would have crowned their asses.  (At least I know I would have.)  Now they're going to have to knife-fight their way through three weeks of tough playoff opponents like the Cowboys, Packers, and Cardinals.  Consider this good fortune saving us from the sin of hubris (errr, or something like that -- still, we would have been way overconfident about the Super Bowl if we had won yesterday).     

Tony Romo didn't win a playoff game.  Romo was sharp all night, and looked like someone had snuck him the answers to the test the night before the big exam.  On top of that, all the close balls that he threw got caught.  (So we can comfortably say that both Romo and his receivers had better games than their counterparts on the Eagles.)  All that said, this will be a week where the Cowboys' national media profile plays against them.  All the attention will be on Dallas and whether Romo can win a playoff game.  I mean, it sure looks like he has the better team, no?  No reason for him to lose at home to a team that he dominated the week before?      

The Eagles didn't lose in an interesting or different way.  Let's see, inability to stop the run on defense plus a goofy run-pass ratio on offense sure sounds like the Platonic Ideal of an Eagles loss.  Throw in some Sadface McNabb and you have the same bad Eagles loss we've seen X times over the past five years. 

The Eagles didn't seamlessly replace Jamaal Jackson.  While Nick Cole didn't have his greatest game yesterday, it would be unfair not to point out that the entire offensive line looked shaky and spooked yesterday.  It sure seemed like there were a few false starts that went uncalled and as well as Dallas blitzes that left the line thoroughly confused.  I suppose Juan Castillo will need to get his extra-strength pixie dust out of storage this week.  

We didn't walk away from the game respecting the Cowboys' class and professionalism.  We have some new villains to loathe!  Embrace it!  Derek kicked this off yesterday, but how psyched should we be to hate on Miles Austin and/ or the Cowboys' secondary!  This is awesome.  I guess signaling first downs after catches in the middle of the field has become the league standard (the Birds certainly do it), but Austin was pulling two- and three-step first-down celebrations complete with dramatic pauses.  Yucky town.  There is folk-hero status available to whichever young defensive player blows up Austin next week.

Our local media and talk-radio brethren didn't find a new spin on an Eagles loss.  Not only was the game Donovan McNabb's fault, but McNabb also threw his teammates under the bus by suggesting that the Eagles showed their youth in the loss (they're even playing the smoking-gun quote coming in and out of breaks).  He's pointing fingers!  He's not a leader!  I hate that guy! 

Where I'll leave it, and I'll try not to be too positive. We all felt pretty lousy after the Birds lost 10-3 to Washington in Week 16 in 2008.  I didn't see 44-6 coming; did you?  The Eagles have a week to study and scrape their pride off the floor.  It was a crappy game, but all is not lost.