The Stack Rank: Top 5 Eagles Most Likely To E-Mail Photos Of Their Junk

We're not even going to pretend to be too good for the latest round of Brett Favre scuttlebutt and accusations, which have expanded beyond broad allegations that Favre left awkward voicemails for a young Jets employee to include Mr. Fah-vuh-ruh sending along photos of his penis and harassing additional Jets employees with what are commonly referred to as "sexts." Nope. Much like the Tiger Woods scandal, it's going to take a while for me to get bored of this.  In fact, in the interest of justice, I feel like the tabloid coverage of DongGate (or Schlong-A-Palooza, whichever) and attendant NFL investigation should go on at least as long as the sum total of weeks that Favre has spent publicly equivocating about retirement over the past four years.   

Seems only right.  

(Also, as to those who have cynically suggested that the Jets are behind the latest round of allegations ahead of Monday night's Vikings-Jets contest, well, consider me green with envy. From the organization that narced on the Cheatriots come fresh photos of Brett Favre's junk. That sounds like an organization that's focused on winning. You're telling me that Joe Banner doesn't have compromising photos of Dunavin from some training-camp tryst that he couldn't have released a week ago?  IS THAT ASKING SO MUCH? And think of all the attention said photos would have stolen from the Phillies!)

In the meantime, in honor of Mr. Fah-vuh-ruh's troubles, let's take a brief break from debating the magnitude of Kevin Kolb's incompetence and/ or the likelihood that Sean McDermott is a fraud to consider a far more pressing set of issues: which current Eagles are most likely to get caught sending photos of their anatomy? Given the number of athletes who've managed to screw this up in recent years (confident young men + many-megapixel cameras in mobile phones = DANGER!!!), it's really only a matter of time until it happens to one of our guys.  

But who? 

On Sam's urging, we'll be naming this list the Mike Mamula Memorial List Of Guys Who Are Likely To Expose Themselves In Person Or On A Digital Recording Device (MMLOFGWALTETINPOOADRD if you're into the whole brevity thing), in honor of Mr. Mamula's 1997 say-hello-to-my-little-friend incident out at Lehigh. List criteria include (a) social media adoption, (b) ladies-man tendencies and projections, and (c) eagerness to be photographed (extra points if said photos include not so much clothing).

In reverse order.... 

5. Moise Fokou. Seems to be a pretty upstanding citizen, but I wouldn't be shocked if his proclivity for ill-timed penalties translates into real-life situations.  You know, something along the lines of, "I was trying to spell-check this Word Doc and somehow e-mailed a video of me and my girlfriend to Jeff Lurie."

4. Asante Samuel. Asante doesn't seem like much of a ladies man (at least he's smart enough to keep those leanings out of his Twitter feed), but I just can't get past this photo shoot that he did right after signing with the Eagles. That suggests a man who doesn't have body issues and wouldn't be shy in re: the occasional global junk broadcast.   

3. Stew Bradley. The thing is, if it happens it isn't because he meant to do it; he was actually just trying to direct-message Brent Celek. Oops.

2. DeSean Jackson. It isn't the Twitter that worries me with The CamelCased One. It's the proclivity to UStream.  DeSean at his place delivering unfiltered monologues to the world at large has its own set of challenges, sure, but it also implies a certain level of familiarity with the webcam. DeSean, we implore you, when using the webcam you must be very very aware of which applications have access to the feed. VERY aware. 

1. Todd Herremanns. Why Herr-Dawg? Let us count the ways. Could it be last summer's training camp incident with the A-Team Van and a couple unnamed local (young) ladies? Could it be the shameless promotion of the Philly Passion (that would be the local lingerie football team), including enthusiastic Tweets? (Yes yes, you're just there to support the growth of football in any form. Of course.) Herr-Dawg is one errant Twitter post away from having this list renamed in his honor.