In case things weren ’ t going perfectly enough for Eagles fans this week

What's that?  The Cowboys have decided that a certain wide receiver might be more trouble than he's worth?  You don't say:

"I think we all know that chemistry is the problem with this team more than the schemes or anything else," a Cowboys source said. "Are we going to continue to allow talent to outweigh everything else in the decisions we make with players and putting the roster together? We're like the Redskins used to be when they signed every player they wanted. There's more to it than talent. It has to be more about the team.

"The big one [Owens] didn't get discussed yet, but I'm sure it will and real hard."

If that isn't enough, perhaps some discussion of Eli Manning becoming a member of the $100-million club, then?  And Giants fans aren't universally thrilled?

"You see $120 million and it just seems like too much money," said Nizam Abdul, 40, of Ozone Park, holding a copy of the Daily News with Manning on the front page.

"Besides, he lost the game," said Abdul, still stinging from Sunday's 23-11 loss to the Eagles. "Everyone is still upset about it."

Yes yes, I'm serving heavy doses of Haterade.  It's not very nice.  I know.

Monday Eagles Hangover: the cure for hangovers is obviously EAGLES AWESOMENESS

Been quite an interesting 36 hours for your humble author. From a windswept and cold tailgate at the Meadowlands to the best Eagles game in recent memory to the Happiest Place On Earth (tm) and back, I can't certainly complain of a lack of variety in my stimuli. And as I return home this evening in my big-boy pants and assorted standard-issue Banana Republic work clothes (with my cold-weather Eagles costume furtively stuffed into my carry-on baggage like some sort of smuggled sports-feelings WMDs), I've still got a glow about me.

Surely that's the only way I made it through this little trip, which should have left me pretty worn out and haggard.  (Certainly my decision to "celebrate" throughout the day alone should have left me a little slow.)  Nope. I'm feeling great. Been feeling great all day. Such is the impact of this level of Eagles Awesomeness: it might have the power to cure hangovers and remove the need for sleep. We're having scientists, trained scientists, look into it right now.

My day-after storylines and bulletpoints (written mostly without my usual embarrassingly exhaustive review of the mainstream post-game content, but we'll take what we can get):

All hail the defense. Um, so at what point can we suggest that this is the best Eagles defense since 1991? What will it take? That defense, you might remember, didn't shine like this one has in the post-season, and were more consistently dominant. They also had a bit of mean-spirited swagger that doesn't seem evident in this team. For all the ferocity that this Eagles defense brings on the field, they're not bullies. They're not the Ravens. They just succeed, but without seeming to engender many bad vibes from opponents.

All that said, the worst thing I've ever heard uttered about Brian Dawkins. I actually heard someone a few rows back say, "I hope Brian Dawkins breaks his leg." Out loud! Doesn't he know that God might be listening and will surely punish him dearly for such a remark?

One of these weeks someone will figure it out. Westbrook doesn't have it. He doesn't. He'd love to prove us all wrong (like he did on the screen pass against the Vikings), but the jump isn't there. We probably won't get a straight answer on how hurt he is for a long time -- some knee thing, the dread high ankle sprain, the ribs -- hopefully at least three weeks. But he isn't the weapon that we imagine him to be. Part of that probably has to do with the defenses he's faced in the last month, but he just doesn't look quite as quick. Still, as long as he's willing to step on the field, folks will have to ignore him at their peril -- especially in a warm-weather game on grass.

So if B-West isn't carrying the offense, who is? Well duh. It's the quarterback and a suddenly consistent group of receivers. Is it fair to say that McNabb has entered a new stage in his career over the past two months? This might be worth it's own post, but it sure feels like he's bringing the polished passing skills he's acquired in the past couple years together with a determination and desperation (especially on third down) that he seemed to have last had in 2002. And I'm probably imaginging things here, but he actually seems more confident than he has in a while. Even when things haven't gone well the past couple weeks, he's been fairly unflappable. Makes me smile.

The things we carried.  I took a commemorative white towel with Giants' logos all over it from a marketing/ promotions drone when I entered the stadium. The attendant looked at my Trent Cole jersey and Eagles hat and gave me a "Really?" "I want a souvenir to remember this by." Pretty happy with that decision. I'll put it on the shelf with my Phils towel from the NLCS and my plastic coffee mug from Fourth-and-26.

Stoppable (!).  I couldn't tell who turned on Eli first: the fans or Tom Coughlin. Folks in section 108 were not happy with young Mr. Manning yesterday. The pick to Samuel prompted a chorus of anti-Eli haterade from the assembled Giants' fans. I cannot explain how happy this made me.  To see them turn so quickly: it meant they were very much on edge heading into the game, and suggested that they were rightly terrified of the Eagles.  And with so much time to play!  It was truly glorious.  Though I guess Coughlin wasn't far behind the fans, in that he essentially gave up on throwing the ball in the second half.

Speaking of, you know who loves to say, "I told you so?"  Everyone.  But mostly Derek gets to say it today.  When he wrote this, I was just psyched that he was telling us the Giants wouldn't win the Super Bowl (I was happy with "anyone but the Giants" at that point).  But to have the Birds be the ones to beat them, TWICE?  Heh heh heh. Take a bow.

And one more shot at the Giants' fans.  Dude, y'all certainly left that stadium puh-retty early -- certainly a lot earlier than I was personally convinced that the game was over.  I guess my pessimism about games not being over until they are actually over -- which is what happens when your team surrenders two blocked-kick TDs at the end of the first half in a single season -- is stronger than your willingness to cheer your team, THE DEFENDING SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS, until the final whistle of the season.  I mean, really, why bother?

Yeah, I'm still soaring with this one.  Go Birds.

(Correction: I unforgivably misspelled Brodrick Bunkley's first name in an earlier post.  No excuses.  Bad form from me.  Sloppy.)

Eagles - Giants Game Preview: It ’ s cold outside, and we wouldn ’ t have it any other way

Of course the Birds would have to play the Giants.  Of course.  As if it wasn't offensive enough that the Giants won the Super Bowl last year, now they have a chance (a four-point chance at home with a bye week in the mix) to end the Eagles' season.  It's been a glorious and serendipitous couple weeks for the Eagles and their fans, but now we've to deal with the defending champs.  And I've signed up to watch it in person.

Certainly I can feel emboldened by our previous trip to the Meadowlands.  Sure, the intensity on the field and in the stands was different that day, and the Giants' fans in our section were very polite (even before it was obvious that the Birds were beating them down), but that was definitely my best-ever Eagles experience in that stadium.

I do not expect a repeat of that experience today, either from the Eagles or the locals.    This is going to be as tough as it gets on the field and in the stands (I swear I'm not going to lose my temper if I absorb a snowball in the head -- I will bend like the reed in the wind!).

But here's the thing -- can we ask for much more than this?  Even if the Eagles win, any matchup the following week will be a letdown.  The defending champs in rough conditions in their own soon-to-be-retired stadium?  With two of the best defensive teams in the league?  If the NFC East has its own set of Gods, surely they must be pleased by this offering.  As a fan, even if it doesn't go our way, I consider myself lucky to have a seat for this one.

(At least that's how I'm rationalizing it.  I'll be a complete lunatic by kickoff I'm sure.  At least I can say I made a commercially reasonable effort to be an adult.)

What I'll be shouting about:

I'm looking for someone to convince me that the Eagles will succeed on offense.  The weather is going to make it difficult to throw the ball effectively.  The offensive line didn't get much of a push last week against the Vikings (though admittedly the Vikings are pretty tough against the run), the starting fullback (Buckhalter) weighs as much as I do (yikes!), and the starting running back continues to limp.  Can McNabb and the wideouts be strong enough -- again -- to move the chains?  That might be asking a lot.  I dunno.  It's a bit disheartening.

Speaking of, Jon Runyan doesn't look good.  And I don't just mean because of his hirsute appearance or cretinous manner of discourse.  He didn't move well against the Vikings last week, and I can't imagine he'll move any better in 28-degree weather.  But hey, he's only facing Justin Tuck, that shouldn't be a problem.  We can only assume that Runyan will have an ungodly cocktail of painkillers pumped into his bloodstream before the game and that he'll hobble through it again.  Don't worry, Jon.  Walking in your forties is completely overrated.

And then, the apocalypse scenario.  Runyan or one of the guards gets hurt.  Mike McGlynn is on IR.  Thus would Winston Justice enter the game.  That will be the point where my wife has permission to roofie me for the remainder of the game.

First tackle.  First foul.  First shot.  First goal (1).  So last week it was Brian Dawkins who established the appropriate level of violence with his brutal shot on Adrian Peterson.  Who's going to step up with a big hit early this week?  Feels like it's Sheldon Brown's turn.

First tackle.  First foul.  First shot.  First goal (2).  Given my general level of concern about the offense's ability to succeed against the Giants, it's extremely important that the Eagles survive the inevitable rush of enthusiasm from New York in the first few minutes of the game.  Going down by more than 10 points in the first half could be deadly.

I wish I could be more excited about the special teams.  After the Minnesota game, I assumed that special teams would be an advantage for the Birds.  Then I remembered how David Akers is completely spooked by the Meadowlands and how multiple field goals were blocked.  Still, this will be the rookies' place to shine today.  We've come to expect it from DeSean Jackson; wouldn't it be lovely if we got something special from Demps?  The Giants struggle in their kickoff coverage -- it could happen.

Things that do not worry me.  The Giants' passing offense.  I imagine that the Eagles' secondary thinks they can handle the Giants' wideouts, and I imagine that they'd be correct.  And I'd also say I'm especially emboldened in this prediction after pulling my little stats in defense of Tavaris Jackson the other day.

Things that might worry us.  As well as the Eagles have defended the run over the past two months (really since the first Giants game), I still think they'll have a tough time of it versus the G-Men today.  The Birds didn't get a week off, and it's cold outside -- you can imagine them wearing down a bit.

Do we have bandwidth for one more superhero performance from 36?  It is unlikely that the Eagles will be able to win without a superhuman effort from the gimpy 36 Chambers of Brian Westbrook.  Westbrook had enough for the Eagles to win last week, but he didn't look consistently strong throughout the game.  I can't imagine that the Eagles win without Westbrook making at least one big play.  The nice thing about Westbrook is that he completely terrifies Giants fans.  In the parking lot a month ago, more than one person was still haunted by his punt return in 2003 -- and then he goes and scores twice that afternoon.  Seriously, he has them spooked.  Also, if the wideouts don't catch the ball, the Birds are cooked.

Hopefully they'll score before they get to the 20.  Things haven't looked so good in the red zone of late.  Huh.  Guess they'll have to score from 21+ yards out!

Actual prediction.  Rational brain, you go away now, and stop reminding me how healthy the Giants are and how the Eagles have a pretty limited ceiling on offense, and how the conditions favor the rested, ball-control offense.  Instead, suggest that the Eagles' defense really might be that good, and that Andy Reid and Jim Johnson are up to the challenge today.  I can't imagine either team making it much past 20 points; let's hope the Eagles are on the friendly side of that number.  Luckily, we can all rest assured that churches throughout the Delaware valley are filled with young men and boys ignoring a series of horrific wars around the globe and are silently praying for an Eagles victory.  And really, who are we to argue with the power of prayer?  Eagles 17, Giants 16.

GO BIRDS.

Like Christmas morning for Eagles fans fond of the damaged joy

So not only did the Giants lose, but Greg Ellis sounded off about the Cowboys' coaches AND Pacman Jones got suspended? 

Let's enjoy it.  Take a week off, heal up, and take pleasure in the failures and misfortunes of others.  We've certainly had our share. 

(The Germans call it Schaudenfreude, and it translates literally as "damaged joy.")

Thank you Cowboys and Redskins; Giants, if you would be so kind?

Regression toward the mean paid a visit to the NFC East in Week Six.  We can't claim to be surprised.

Now if only the G-Men will play along.

Regression toward the mean continues

What's that?  A Pro Bowl quarterback won't be making sixteen starts?  And it might mean some tough times ahead for the erstwhile division leaders? 

It's the NFL.  Randomly unexpected things happen every week, so much so that we should not be surprised when they do.  (This is also what makes it such an excellent TV show.)

On said topic, I might also recommend Fooled By Randomness; mostly it explains that anyone who thinks they've got a secret to predicting things is probably extremely full of poop.

The season is over because the NFC East will never lose another game

While it's difficult to argue with the strength of the NFC East as a division this year -- definitely the best division in football, only one game lost outside of the division, thanks to the Birds' craptasticness versus the Bears -- I think we can towel off a wee bit about just how good the Cowboys, Giants, and Redskins are.  That is, when we read Reuben Frank's relatively sober analysis of the Birds' remaining schedule and it includes dire predictions about what needs to happen for the Eagles to catch their division rivals (8-3 the rest of the way, and hope that the other teams in the division go .500), the scary part should be the 8-3 part, not the "other teams go .500" part. 

I mean, maybe the NFC East will win every game they play, but it doesn't seem very likely.  Five games into the NFL season, we haven't seen very many twists and turns in the division quite yet.  But the first week of October is a long way from the first week of December.  Things like "major injuries," "ridiculous off-the-field issues," "contract disputes," and "meddling owners" all have a tendency to show up and impact performance.  Will all four starting QBs in the division start 16 games?  Not likely (and let's hope #5 isn't one of the ones to go down).  Will the Cowboys and Giants manage their brewing dramas with Pacman and Plax?  Probably, but crazy things can happen.  Will T.O. keep it together?  Will the Skins keep their offensive line healthy?  On top of that, sometimes teams just don't show up and they take a bad loss to a "bad" team.  It happens.   

The bigger point here is that the Eagles can stay in the hunt with a couple wins, and that worrying about the rest of the division heading into Week Six seems a bit premature.  Wining some of the games against those division rivals will make a difference, but they don't have to worry about that until November 9.  Plenty of football between now and then.  Until then, we can let the cruel laws of statistics take their course -- Reversion to the Mean, you've never looked so good!      

Birds outshove Steelers, make Ed Rendell smile

In the game that was the inverse of last Monday's shootout against Dallas, the Eagles roughed up the Steelers in a tough-ass defensive struggle, 15-6. 

Quick-hit reactions to a very satisfying TV show:    

Jim Johnson and the defensive front, take a bow.  Six days after giving up 34 points (I won't blame them for the special teams TD), the Birds' defense channeled the 1991 Eagles and just humiliated the Steelers.  The ball was snapped, and the line immediately moved two yards backward on pretty much every down.  It seemed like the Steelers gave up running the ball pretty early, and stubbornly instructed Roethlisberger to try to throw the ball.  Nope.  It wasn't just a couple plays worth of pressure, it was pressure on every single down.  Darren Howard, Juqua Parker and Trent Cole were monsters.  The body language from the Steelers' receivers was the most telling part -- you could tell they were sick of running routes and not even having the ball come out.  Jim Johnson and the defense have officially made it up to us for the Dallas game.

Speaking of making it up to us after the Dallas game.  I guess the Dawkins retirement can wait another week.  His pterodactyl Makhtar (Editor's note: Makhtar is a slang term used to describe the act of violently smacking an object out of another's hand; derived from Makhtar N'Diaye and his proclivity for clumsy fouls) on Big Ben was the best Eagles' play of the season so far. 

$57 million seemed like a lot, but, well, we like interceptions.  Asante Samuel is definitely earning it after three weeks.  I'll argue that he's actually been a little lost in the media shuffle so far, and that he'd definitely be a big story in most other towns, but given the unique, ahem, landscape of storylines amongst the local blathertariat, he's gotten off pretty easy.  I can't say I'm anything but impressed by this guy. 

I don't think I've ever been that excited about the punter.  Get ready for a week of "This is the week it clicked for Sav Rocca" though he's been pretty good so far this season.  He absolutely made a difference today. 

And suddenly it's the third quarter of a preseason game.  When Kolb checked in with Buckhalter and Booker in the backfield and Baskett and Avant split wide, well, it got pretty chill in my apartment.  It got a little warmer when McNabb checked back in, but even that was an Eagles team without its starting backfield, Pro Bowl guard and presumptive top wideout.  Yikes.

Booker is a liability in pass defense.  Booker whiffed horribly on the McNabb pick, kind of fell down in the act of not even getting a finger on the blitzer.  Not so impressive.  Westbrook and Buckhalter don't miss like that.    

Think happy thoughts. Let's pretend the 36 Chambers of Brian Westbrook isn't actually hurt and will be back at practice on Wednesday.  Somewhere GCobb is working on a blog post about how Westbrook can't stay healthy. 

Also, The NFC East still hasn't lost a game to anyone but an NFC East team.  Though I hope the Cowboys lose in a barrage of injuries to fix that.  Obviously.

Great game.  Go Birds. 

Tank Daniels skillfully panders to the locals

Welcome back Tank Daniels!  Whilst we'll try not to begrudge you your odious Giants' Super Bowl ring too too much, we can at least take some minor solace in the winning attitude you'll be toting back to the Delaware Valley:  

As for going back and forth from the Eagles and Giants, Daniels said there is one thing he loves equally about both teams.

"They both hate Dallas," he said. "Even though I'm from Arkansas, I grew up hating the Cowboys, and I'm fortunate that I can still hate them."

Generally, I think, yes, you've got the gist of it.  Now just substitute "given the opportunity, would gouge an opposing fan's eye out with a rusty spoon" for "hate" and I think it's perfect.

Preseason injuries are silly (with just a tiny bit of haterade and imaginary religion)

Nothing is more beat than pre-season injuries, especially to star players. We don't like to see the more popular entertainers felled in training matches. And as much as we'd like to secretly gloat about Osi Umenyiora's season-ending knee injury, we don't like to see good players go down for the year (minor injuries that cause them to miss the Eagles game, well that's a different story...).

Still, and we're knowingly dodging bolts of lightning here, can we at least point out that it was Umenyiora who knocked Browns QB Derek Anderson out of the Cleveland-G-Men preseason match the Monday prior? Concussed him, to be more precise. In a preseason game. Sure, it was a clean hit, but he drove him into the turf -- as a viewer, I wasn't shocked when Anderson didn't get up. And if I was, say, a Browns supporter, I'd've been mighty cheesed off at that hit.

We might also note a corollary here with the inexplicably unfined Dawkins helmet-to-helmet shot on Moosh the week before; Dawk left the following game with an ankle injury.

That karma is a pesky nemesis.