Well I guess I'll have to abandon my "Isn't it ironic how Andy Reid's kids are in trouble with the law, but none of the Eagles' players ever get arrested (unlike the rest of the league)." Congratulations, Mike Patterson! You've gotten the Birds on Turd Watch for the first time ever, and have totally killed my spin on the Reid kids.
Still, all things considered, this isn't the worst thing that's ever happened. No guns, no strippers, no fisticuffs. Just a kid from California getting caught with low-level drugs in his car. Patterson's a west-coast kid; he probably didn't even know it was illegal in Pennsylvania. (We shall not comment on the potential DWB scenario here.)
We might also add that, compared the exploits of the Reid kids, Patterson seems, well, a little bit soft. It's not like he got caught with a rectum full of pills. Garrett and Britt are sitting in jail smirking about this right now. See below for a dramatization of the conversation between Garrett, Britt and Mike:
The bummer here is, of course, that Patterson will likely get some penalty from league office, and will potentially be suspended for a few games. BOOOO. Come on Mike, you're better than that.