Eagles - Niners Preview: what horrors await?

So that makes two weeks in a row of abject horror and frustration for Eagles' fans.  The last two games, both tough losses, haven't exactly been delightful samples of NFL entertainment.  We've watched our favorite team make crucial mistakes and get pushed around by decent-but-not-great opponents.  We rationalized the loss in week 2 to the Cowboys because we talked ourselves into the Cowboys being sooooo good.  We're now out of excuses on that front.  The Birds are now in a position where they have to convince us that they are slightly better than mediocre.  And even that is unlikely to be settled this week.

Whatever anxiety you might feel as an Eagles' fan today, don't for a second think there's a scenario where you feel significantly better at 8 pm this evening.  That is, even if the Eagles do emphatically win on the road, what do we know?  That the Eagles can triumph against another middle-of-the-road team?  Super.  Then we have two weeks to think about being 3-3 in the toughest division in the NFL.  And if they lose, well, time to dust off the Donovan McNabb and Andy Reid eulogies.

This is all a long way of saying that very little will be awesome this afternoon or for the next two weeks, and there's the possibility that things could be really really awful for Eagles fans.  It's the Kobiyashi Maru.

Everyone got that?  Sound sweet?  Negadelphia eanough for you?  Okay, on to things that'll make me shout at the TV this afternoon:

What I imagine the Niners will be up to.  On offense?  How about Frank Gore off tackle left.  Followed by Frank Gore off tackle right.  Followed by Frank Gore off tackle left.  Lather rinse repeat.  The Eagles got downright pushed around last week, especially to the outside in the running game.  I imagine that the Niners will try to challenge the Eagles in a similar way.  And man do I hope that the Birds are up to stopping them.

What I hope the Eagles will be up to.  Throw it to number 10.  Run it with number 10.  Get him deep.  Run wide-receiver screens.  I'm shocked that a rookie is far and away the Birds' most threatening player at this point, but he is.  And he's got a bit of a homecoming thing happening here (played college ball across the bay) -- let him show the locals that he's a baller.  Sure, he might do something stupid, but that's the rookie tax, and given the dearth of actual playmakers who made the trip, I think we're all willing to pay it.

25?  Have a seat next to 37.  Fingers crossed that the Klecko-to-fullback move actually means Hunt-to-tailback which actually means Booker-to-bench.  Booker isn't a lost cause quite yet, but it's too early to expect much from him.  We'll all feel better (especially 5) if he doesn't see too many snaps.

Will Curtis play?  I would assume Curtis' participation will be similar to Reggie Brown's first week back -- he'll be out there, might see a ball or two, but we can't expect fireworks.  Now's definitely the moment to snag him in your imaginary football leagues though.

Does LJ read PFT?  So the Birds are interested in Tony Gonzalez?  How you feeling about that contract extension, LJ?

The defense is officially on the hook this week.  Shame on us all for focusing on the offense this week.  The Birds need their defense to play well if they're going to win against the Niners.  We should assume a mediocre showing from the offense -- they're missing a bunch of starters.  The defense?  Nope.  They look pretty healthy.  This team needs help, and the defense was humiliated by the Redskins last week.   Sooo, Trent Cole, Asante Samuel, and other defensive players whose jerseys get sold?  Time to participate in the culture of accountability!

Obligatory David Akers non-excuse.  Dude, we do NOT want to hear about how windy it is out in San Francisco.  Seriously.  I'm mentioning this in advance.

A humble request.  Can the kickoff return team make a play?  Being in the stadium last week I finally got to see what the return team was up to, and it wasn't very impressive.  Blocking was beat, and Demps seemed content to barrel into the back of the pile.  It'd be nice to start a drive beyond the 25-yard line.

And the score?  I'm a sucker.  A total sucker.  I actually believe that the Eagles can tough this out.  I think they'll need some sort of Donovan McNabb scramble on a big play in the fourth quarter to seal it, but I think they get it done (ever so barely): Eagles 26, 49ers 22.

Go Birds.

And here I thought we might make it to October without a craptastic loss

On a weekend that the Phils clinched their second straight NL East championship, we didn't really think that we'd be twice blessed with an Eagles victory on the road, did we? Without Brian Westbrook?

Despite the text messges I received upon landing in the Pacific Northwest last night ("Don't even bother watching the game"), I plowed through the tape of the game, and the Birds weren't terrible. The defense, in fact, was excellent in the second half. McNabb was fine -- not great, but certainly on his game. But you pile up a couple injuries and stumble on a couple important plays and voila! You lose to the Bears!

(I hate to admit it, but I was a little Nancy Negative ahead of this game, and it looks like my anxieties weren't completely unfounded.  SIGH.)

The thing is, most NFL games are close, and you have to expect to lose a couple close games each year. Last year's team probably lost about 1.5 more close games than the league average (Packers, Bears, Seahawks and second Giants game come to mind); previous years' teams lost fewer of the close ones. We'd like to believe that the Eagles are so formidable that they won't even be in very many close games, but that's just not true. They blew a close one last night; let's hope that the next couple break their way.

My observations upon viewing last night/ this morning on my PC screen via Slingbox:

The Birds need some sort of Team-minus-36 plan.  This will be the most obvious and pedestrian thing I write all week, but man, it sure does look different without the 36 Chambers of Brian Westbrook out there.  Andy Reid needs to start working on the binder of plays for when they don't have the best back in football on the field.  Cause it doesn't seem like he tends to have very many good ideas.  Also, they miss Westbrook in a ton of ways -- not just running the ball and scaring people with his placement in the formation, but the blitz pickups and blocking as well.  Buck whiffed a bit last night on those.  We won't talk about Booker, other than to say....

...Booker isn't there yet.  Seems like a decent situational/ once-in-a-while substitute, but this guy is not serviceable as a first-down back in the NFL.  And suddenly we're a bit thin at that position.  The portions of the second half when Buck was out were horrfying.  Horrifying. 

We've found the weakest link.  Another solid game from the young linebackers.  Gocong even got into it a bit more this week (good for him on the sack), though I think Gocong might be sticking out on film as the "one you can beat if you want to" -- that first touchdown was on him, and looked pretty similar to the Marion Barber TD catch from two weeks ago. 

Question I'd like someone to answer.  I'm wagering against the Eagles in prime time games until further notice.  I'm desperate to be disproven on this, but they've just been awful in night games for too long now.  Is there some sort of Kerry Collins-on-the-sauce-with-the-Giants thing at play here?  (My theory on Kerry Collins on Sunday night games with the Giants was that since it was a night game he'd clear himself to have a few extra drinks on Saturday -- since the game wasn't until later and he wouldn't have to get up early -- and this would inevitably snowball and leave him in terrible shape for the whole day Sunday.  Yeah, you'll see me in hell for that one.)

And suddenly DeSean Jackson is our best offensive player?  I mean, that was it, right?  No B-West and suddenly Jackson is the number-one option?  Is that really the deal at this point?  Nice to see Reggie Brown catch some balls last night, though.  He looks like he's getting back up to speed, and he's had some great games against the Skins in the past -- they'll need that Sunday.

Marvels on the defensive line.  Someone who actually knows something about football needs to explain to me how a little dude (all characterizations relative, of course) like Dan Klecko keeps getting to the quarterback (and why Broderick Bunkley can't).  I could not have been more wrong about Dan Klecko all summer.  And he keeps making plays.  Remarkable.  Also, at what point can we admit that Juqua Parker is playing really well and isn't some sort of undersized liability? 

I agree with Les.  Should have used Dunavin down on the goal line.  He's the most gifted guy on the field.  Let him win it for you.

Don't discount the other injuries.  The running game missed Westbrook, obviously, but it also missed The Big Kid and L.J. Smith (editor's note: we're about 3 mm away from affixing "much maligned" to the front of L.J.'s name in the Word Press templates).  Probably wouldn't have hated having those guys out there for the goal-line offense.  Ultimately, the offense probably looked crappy because it was missing four ostensible starters -- and that was before Buck got dinged up.

Yeah, this one sooked.  The B-West injury watch vigil will continue all week ahead of a tough division game against a confident Redskins team.  Yikes!  On the upside, I bought myself some tickets to that one and will get to see it firsthand.  

Onwards.               

Birds outshove Steelers, make Ed Rendell smile

In the game that was the inverse of last Monday's shootout against Dallas, the Eagles roughed up the Steelers in a tough-ass defensive struggle, 15-6. 

Quick-hit reactions to a very satisfying TV show:    

Jim Johnson and the defensive front, take a bow.  Six days after giving up 34 points (I won't blame them for the special teams TD), the Birds' defense channeled the 1991 Eagles and just humiliated the Steelers.  The ball was snapped, and the line immediately moved two yards backward on pretty much every down.  It seemed like the Steelers gave up running the ball pretty early, and stubbornly instructed Roethlisberger to try to throw the ball.  Nope.  It wasn't just a couple plays worth of pressure, it was pressure on every single down.  Darren Howard, Juqua Parker and Trent Cole were monsters.  The body language from the Steelers' receivers was the most telling part -- you could tell they were sick of running routes and not even having the ball come out.  Jim Johnson and the defense have officially made it up to us for the Dallas game.

Speaking of making it up to us after the Dallas game.  I guess the Dawkins retirement can wait another week.  His pterodactyl Makhtar (Editor's note: Makhtar is a slang term used to describe the act of violently smacking an object out of another's hand; derived from Makhtar N'Diaye and his proclivity for clumsy fouls) on Big Ben was the best Eagles' play of the season so far. 

$57 million seemed like a lot, but, well, we like interceptions.  Asante Samuel is definitely earning it after three weeks.  I'll argue that he's actually been a little lost in the media shuffle so far, and that he'd definitely be a big story in most other towns, but given the unique, ahem, landscape of storylines amongst the local blathertariat, he's gotten off pretty easy.  I can't say I'm anything but impressed by this guy. 

I don't think I've ever been that excited about the punter.  Get ready for a week of "This is the week it clicked for Sav Rocca" though he's been pretty good so far this season.  He absolutely made a difference today. 

And suddenly it's the third quarter of a preseason game.  When Kolb checked in with Buckhalter and Booker in the backfield and Baskett and Avant split wide, well, it got pretty chill in my apartment.  It got a little warmer when McNabb checked back in, but even that was an Eagles team without its starting backfield, Pro Bowl guard and presumptive top wideout.  Yikes.

Booker is a liability in pass defense.  Booker whiffed horribly on the McNabb pick, kind of fell down in the act of not even getting a finger on the blitzer.  Not so impressive.  Westbrook and Buckhalter don't miss like that.    

Think happy thoughts. Let's pretend the 36 Chambers of Brian Westbrook isn't actually hurt and will be back at practice on Wednesday.  Somewhere GCobb is working on a blog post about how Westbrook can't stay healthy. 

Also, The NFC East still hasn't lost a game to anyone but an NFC East team.  Though I hope the Cowboys lose in a barrage of injuries to fix that.  Obviously.

Great game.  Go Birds. 

Sartorial concerns

It wouldn't be football season if I didn't treat myself to a fresh batch of Eagles-themed Officially Licensed Products.  Since I dialed it down a bit last season (t-shirt, hat), I thought a new jersey might be in the mix for the '08 season.  I hadn't added a new jersey to the collection since November 2006, and that one was a gift.

(A most excellent gift, I might add, and ultimately virtually impossible to top in terms of groomsmen gifts.  Throwback jerseys?  I mean.  Genius.)

The last shirt I bought for myself was a Michael Lewis jersey in 2005.  YIKES.  Kind of got that one wrong.  And to be honest, I didn't even expect that I'd buy one this year (sort of -- I like to tell myself that I wasn't going to buy one); thought I'd look for some sort of hoodie (this one was tempting, don't get me wrong).

But then I was sitting in this all-day meeting last week (there've been a lot of all-day meetings of late), and my mind started to wander a bit.  So fired up the eBay.  Was just going to buy some shoes, to be honest, but then I thought I'd plug "eagles jersey" into the search bar.  Just to check.  And...what's that?  A reasonably undervalued Trent Cole shirt in my size?  Sure, it's the third-jersey color, but I didn't have a black one yet.  And Trent Cole is surely deserving of increased jersey sales!  He's the best defensive player on the team, relatively young, on a second contract; this certainly counts as a prudent investment.

(I was thinking about a DeSean Jackson shirt as well, but it's too early.  Mostly the number 10 is a cool-ass number; there should be plenty of time for that conversation later if things go well for the kid.)

A few bids later (including some delivered via text-message over a thoroughly useful eBay SMS interface), the shirt was mine.  Fingers crossed that it arrives in today's mail; want to make sure I'm properly geared up for tomorrow.

Andrew Can Stop Yelling at Me

Trent Cole makes the Pro Bowl after all:

Cole, selected as a first alternate in the voting by fans, players and coaches, will replace Seattle's Patrick Kerney, who has backed out of the game because of an injury. This will be Cole's first Pro Bowl appearance.

Facci Sognare!

I really wish I was a little more excited about the game this afternoon. The Birds' season is pretty much through, and I'm mostly concerned that the team has already quit -- meaning that I'm going to watch them capitulate to the Cowboys this afternoon with little to no resistance.

That would not be sweet.

All I can think of as kickoff approaches is the opening lines from the very fabulous A Season With Verona by Tim Parks:

"FACCI SOGNARE says the banner. Make us dream! Please!"

And really, that's what I'm asking for this afternoon. I know there are no playoffs (much less a Super Bowl) in the Birds' immediate future. I'm rational. That's all done.

I just want something to get excited about. Something to convince me that these guys are worth rooting for and that next year might be better than this one.

MAKE US DREAM!

Things that would make me dream this afternoon (which mostly have to do with young players doing exciting things):

1. Donovan McNabb hits a wideout (Reggie Brown would be ideal, though Curtis is more likely) for a deep ball, possibly even for a (gasp!) touchdown. We just haven't seen the deep ball at all. Seeing Dunavin fling it down the field a bit would make me happier.

2. Trent Cole faces a gigantic tackle and gets two sacks. It sure seems like young master Cole struggles a bit with the gigantic tackles. Be nice to see him take that next step.

3. J.R. Reed takes someone's head off on a crossing route. Since the safety position is completely in flux for this team, it'd be nice to see the guy that no one believed in step up and do something violent.

4. Tony Hunt makes someone miss in the open field. Since we're going to see Hunt out there a bit this afternoon, and since I'm not convinced he's actually quick enough to ever adequately replace B-West, I'd like to be pleasantly surprised. Tony Hunt, please be fast.

5. Brent Celek has four catches. Since it looks like Mr. Celek will be challenging for a starting job sooner rather than later (don't let the door hit you on the way out, L.J.), it'd be nice to see him make a couple plays.

6. Jim Johnson unveils his specialized Anti-Romo defense that confuses the Dallas QB into four turnovers. This feels like a stretch, but since it looks like we'll be dealing with this guy for a couple more seasons at the least, it'd be nice if we had some clever plans to screw him up.

7. Someone, ANYONE, make a play on special teams. Just this one time. Seriously. Just one play. That's all I'm asking for.

(Go Birds.)